As a fetish model and producer, I get clients and fans telling me they have a fetish all the time. They like stockings, latex, diapers, and any number of other things. They enjoy watching videos that contain these elements and claim they have a fetish but do they? What is the difference between a “kink” and a “fetish” and can these terms be interchanged or no? Today I am going to talk about just this so you can figure out if you fit into the kinkster category, or are you, in fact, a real fetishist.
What Is Fetish?
You might be thinking to yourself, “but Olivia, I know I have a fetish! I get so turned on by feet! I just can’t help it.”, but do you really have a fetish? The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word fetish as “an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.”
What does that mean? Well, to paraphrase, a fetish is something that you need to reach the level of climax. To have sexual fulfillment, this element, such as feet, has to be involved or you won’t be sexually satisfied. If that element, say feet, is not involved, you can not get off. Another definition of the word “fetish” is a fixation, and you see this a lot within fetishists. For example, I have a long term client who enjoys my bare feet and notices them in any style of the clip I have done, to the point he fixates on why I had shoes on in a specific scene within a movie, and why I didn’t have them on in the next. I, of course, have no idea why my shoes were not present in the subsequent scene. I do not fixate on my feet, or I didn’t at that time, and the video was filmed eight years ago, so I couldn’t possibly say why I had no shoes on because I was not fixated on how my feet were presented. Details matter to someone with a fetish and a fixation, and those who do not have that specific fetish aren’t necessarily aware of them.
What Is A Kink?
So if to have a fetish you have only to be able to get off on those things, what is a kink? The definition of a kink is loosely defined than that of a fetish. Some people encompass all of BDSM as a kink, some dictionaries suggest it as a deviant sexual behavior, but more popularly the word kink is defined as a sexual practice out of the norm. When having a kink, you don’t need to have it performed to get off. You could have blissful vanilla sex with zero kink involvement and be able to reach a sexual climax or orgasm, as opposed to a fetish where you can only get off by having the object or action present.
So Which Are You?
So which are you? Are you a fetishist who has a specific fetish that you can only get off to, or are you a kinkster, who enjoys kink but ultimately doesn’t need it to gain sexual fulfillment? Whatever the case may be with you as an individual, there is absolutely nothing wrong with with either, so let your freak flag fly, find some toes to suck on, jerk off to girls in gloves, or even find a kinky partner to indulge with you. As long as it is safe, sane, and consensual, and doesn’t hurt anyone, go for it and stay kinky my friends.